#94 - Don't Like My Worst Day

Day Four is here and it is my worst day, as expected.  My eye lids are puffy and I can't stop my eyes from tearing. I opened the door at 9 to my nurse, Augusta and stuck out my already bruised arm, to have my blood drawn.  It took 2 tries. My veins are tired of this.  My mouth feels numb and my teeth feel like they're not in the proper place. When i lay down for a bit, my body feels like a bloated, sunken ship, sinking  into the couch. I can't read, because my eyes won't focus. 

But my eyes can take in the oranges and golds on the table.  I knew a few days ago that i needed to put out some "fall" to give me a boost.  What a treat to have a new season. And of course best of all, this BAD DAY, is kind of IT. I will feel somewhat better tomorrow and then better and better gradually.  This is it, for Bad Chemo Days! I find this hard to believe.

In the evening, I ate my Mac-n-Cheese in my cozy house. I stopped thinking about my sluggish self.  My worst day was nothing. Hurricane Matthew had been causing "worst days" for thousands in the southeast, all day.  My friend in Jacksonville, FL was dealing with decisions of evacuation... and she just recently finished her 12 rounds of chemo.  Then I got a message from a dear friend about her mother's sudden death...  

My focus is different now.  Not only do I have friends dealing with worse, worst days... there are all the people I don't know, in devastated Haiti and the Bahamas... Tomorrow, my brain will be less foggy.  I hope I can figure out a way to be helpful.