Only a Partial Lie
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​My daughter-in-law offered to treat my daughter and me  for hair blow-outs on Saturday. I was touched, but hesitant. "Oh that's so sweet, but... not sure what they can really do with my hair... oh I can just come watch..."
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My "I am not worthy" side was talking. Chali reminded me that I could just enjoy being shampooed and pampered. She was sure they would have skills to deal with my chemo curls.
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So, it's not that I don't like pampering. It's just that I always think pampering is for other people. Look at this photo I snapped, after my shampoo. I clearly loved my pampering.

Curls and No Curls
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​What fun! The girls got curls and I lost mine. Most of all we had a good time, sipping and gabbing in the peaceful salon, before dashing off to a bridal shower.

Whether wearing a wig, scarf or swim cap... whether I'm bald, have curls or no curls... we've always had fun!
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Maybe if I'd had some giddy enthusiasm, I could have grabbed the flat iron or some hair products and really put myself into making myself presentable. But by the time I got to this dried mop, I was exhausted. I just marched into the other room and told Don, "This is how I'm gonna look today!" It was sad.  Luckily it was funny, too. I had nothing I had to do all day, except stay home and get over my cold and jet lag, so who cared.

But it may be time to start making hair decisions. Go back to a Pixie, since it's getting straighter now? Buy more hats? I may have to start learning how to deal with this hair.

I never get sick. But today, schools are closed due to ice/snow issues and I'm sitting on the couch with my box of Kleenex. It's a cozy day to be sick.

January 1st

​On New Year's Day I was zapped with a sudden touch of flu. We had just arrived at Railay Beach in Thailand. What horrible luck! 

Not really. It was actually decent timing, if I had to get sick in Thailand. I was surrounded by beauty, with sunshine and balmy temps to soothe any ailments. 
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Rest

Best of all, Don and I had our own bungalow, so I could slip off from the group of 9 we'd been traveling with... and rest. After spending a week exploring and celebrating with family in Thailand, I suddenly had a quiet hotel room to hunker down and  cough as loud as I liked.  When others went off to explore, I laid on that bed like a 10-ton slug. I felt achy and feverish, grumpy and pouty.

I felt sort of perplexed as I lay there. It had been a very long time since I'd felt sick like this, but it was oddly familiar. Then I recognized those miserable, dumpy symptoms. "This feels just like a bad chemo day." Suddenly I was reminded, that I've been feeling so well for a very long time. I've been taking my wellness for granted.

Missing Out
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​I laid on that bed, too weary to read. I heard my cell beep and squinted to read a thread of group texts, communicating and updating.

I felt like a grumpy little kid who had been told to stay in bed. The texts alerted me to what I was missing... monkeys and sunset and tropical drinks... I rolled out of bed and felt determined to join the gang for sunset.

Bolted In
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​​I grabbed the key and headed out of the bungalow, then stopped at our wall gate and fumbled with the bolt. "Why won't this open?" I whimpered. Again, I recognized that "poor miserable me" feeling from chemo days. Just like a baby, I wanted to cry. "Let me out!" 

I texted Don and he texted back, "Oops!" He had bolted the gate on the outside when he left. He came and set me free. I caught the very end of sunset, then went back to bed.

Luckily, I Didn't Miss...
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​So after 1 bad day at the beach, I came around. That's it. I didn't miss anything important. The week before I'd been well for Chali & Scott's Thai wedding.

I'd been healthy and happy when we had our day at the elephant sanctuary and when we visited the temples and cruised the river, I was raring to go. And now today, I've got a cold and I'm missing nothing. 

Today
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​So I sit here now, remembering how un-fun it is to feel un-well. I stare out the window at the ice and I miss my energy... especially with all I need to do, after 3 weeks away. 

​But I feel grateful for how well I've been in my year after cancer. And I feel glad to know how little I actually missed during that "bad year" of cancer. 

​I hate missing things.