Even though I've been shouting, "I want to start this chemo!' I'm actually feeling more jittery tonight, before chemo, than I was the night before surgery. Surgery was all about getting that tumor out of me! Yay! But there are so many more unknowns with chemo.
I talked with both my kids who wanted to know how I was feeling about all this. Yesterday, I talked to Heidi about the hair loss and wondering about having no eyebrows or lashes... blah, blah, blah. But she was upbeat about buying good make up for a change. She could even come help me have some fun with it.
I talked to my son, Scott last night. First we talked about lots of stuff in his hectic life in DC right now, but then he got thoughtful about my day tomorrow. I said I felt positive, but a little stressed about the unknowns. What will MY symptoms be? Bone pain, nausea... ? Scott reminded me about how he used to be the night before first days of school and how I had to remind him that those jitters were normal. "It's all that wondering that makes you anxious." I would remind him. Once you're there in school or even the new job, you finally get to find out what it's all about... good and bad. And it's a huge relief.
So Scott had to remind me that I was like he was, before starting school or jobs. And soon I would find out and I would feel that relief of just knowing! And probably much of the stuff that is worrying my won't even happen! I love having kids who can teach and support me!
Then I had to tell Scott, "Oh I am taking my tiny wooden donkey tomorrow!" It's my silly mascot for helping me "kick cancer's butt". He laughed and answered. "Just like my sabertooth tiger!" Scott was only 2 when he had thumb surgery and we couldn't find his favorite plastic toy to take along for comfort. Grandma had to buy him a new one, in St.Louis... since you can't just find one anywhere. Then she raced to Tulsa to get it to him before surgery.
I need to find a picture of that boy and his sabertooth!
I started this complaining list/blog, in May 2016. I posted 200 gripes about my breast CANCER and then I was done.
On March 13, 2020, I started venting all over again, when another disease (starting with a C) interfered with my life. This time it was the invasion of COVID and it affected every person. I ranted for a year, until I got my COVID vaccine in March 2021.
CORONARY Artery Disease was the reason I restarted this blog on September 26, 2021. This time it was my hubby Don, who was dealing with a worry that started with the letter "C".
Coronavirus and Cancer, Coronary Artery Disease! All are evil, but none can totally get me down... if I vent! I usually end up feeling a little more positive at the end of each post!
Navigating This Mess!
The most recent post is at the top, from coronary posts in 2022, back to cancer posts in 2016.
To find past posts, look below the "Archives" section, to find "Categories".