#32 - Don't Like Going Solo
Don and I haven't gone to any events or parties, since the pandemic started. Today I attended a wedding.
The bridal couple cautiously postponed their wedding a year ago. But here we are still dealing with a pandemic, a year later.
Vaccine or Mask Required
The couple requested that guests be vaccinated or wear masks.
I'm vaccinated, but I still felt a little bit anxious. Should I wear a mask anyway? Is Don still extra vulnerable after his bypass, 4+ weeks ago?
It felt odd going through my closet looking for something to wear, after dressing casually for 19 months. It felt odd leaving Don behind and driving myself to the venue out in the county.
I reminded Don before leaving, that the last time I went solo to a wedding, I caught the bouquet and got married a year later. I remember feeling totally confident, when I went alone to Claire's wedding at age 21, why was I feeling uncomfortable at 64?
It was a beautiful evening and the ceremony was outside. Still, I felt awkward sitting next to people that I don't know, during a pandemic. I actually know a few people who have gotten break through cases while attending weddings. There seemed to be enough space, so I left a chair between myself and the stranger. (I didn't see a mask anywhere, btw)
Once seated, I could enjoy watching J & N exchange vows. Finally! They've postponed twice during this crazy pandemic. The pandemic is also the reason why my daughter wasn't watching her dear friend get married. They've known each other since 6th grade. Heidi had hoped to fly from Portland, but worries over travel with an unvaccinated baby...
After the ceremony, there was time to mingle outside before the meal. I'm usually totally capable of handling myself without being a "couple". I was surprised at how awkward I felt. Am I just out of practice? Was I feeling worried about leaving Don for the first time since surgery? But, luckily there were a few familiar faces.
I got to hug the sweet bride and chat with 4 other friends of Heidi's and their hubbies. Weddings always make me feel sentimental, but these past 19 months have made us all feel so much more grateful for one another.
Since these girls graduated from High School in 2005, there have been numerous weddings and quite a few babies.
Don and I have been lucky to see quite of few of these girls get married. I missed having Don with me. He was actually really sad, not being able to attend.
Before long we were invited to find a seat. I pick my own? Assigned seating is a relief when you're by yourself. But suddenly I felt like the new kid in the school lunchroom. Where do I go? The tables were set for 8 and the 4 couples I knew, fit nicely at one table. They graciously assured me they could grab another plate and chair and squeeze me in.
I assured them I was fine and moved towards a nearby table. Suddenly it became clear to me that all guests were seated and I was ready to dine alone. I sort of chuckled to myself and moved over to a table with 4 guests and invited myself to join. The women were busy talking to each other and the 2 men in short sleeved shirts, talked about having to miss the first day of deer hunting season. I was glad to have empty chairs between us, but it made conversing hard. I was suddenly happy to have food and toasts to focus on.
Before long, we were invited to the terrace, for the bride and groom's First Dance. Would it be okay to quietly slip out and head home? I had a long drive and a healing hubby at home. Did I need an excuse? Would someone notice me leaving early?
Even though I'd felt awkward a couple times during the evening, I knew the spotlight had never really been on me. I reminded myself of Don's favorite "nobody cares" advice. It sounds mean, but it's true that nobody is as worried about you and what you say or do, as you are yourself.
So, while the guests followed the couple to the deck, I headed for the dark parking lot. My cellphone flashlight helped me find my car. I sat in the car and felt cozy and happy. I'm so glad I got to see sweet Jessie get married. I'll remember that it was a beautiful night and beautiful setting and she will maybe remember that I was there.
I sat in the car and texted Heidi some photos. I texted Don that I should be home in 40 minutes. He told me to drive safely. And when I got home, Don was fine and hardly needed me a bit. But I was happy to play nurse again.
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I started this complaining list/blog, in May 2016. I posted 200 gripes about my breast CANCER and then I was done.
On March 13, 2020, I started venting all over again, when another disease (starting with a C) interfered with my life. This time it was the invasion of COVID and it affected every person. I ranted for a year, until I got my COVID vaccine in March 2021.
CORONARY Artery Disease was the reason I restarted this blog on September 26, 2021. This time it was my hubby Don, who was dealing with a worry that started with the letter "C".
Coronavirus and Cancer, Coronary Artery Disease! All are evil, but none can totally get me down... if I vent! I usually end up feeling a little more positive at the end of each post!
Navigating This Mess!
The most recent post is at the top, from coronary posts in 2022, back to cancer posts in 2016.
To find past posts, look below the "Archives" section, to find "Categories".