#164 - I Don't Like All Mays

This Festive Month

When I was a child, I loved the month of May. It was full of May Day baskets, Mother's Day crafts and end of school happenings.

When Don and I were younger parents, the calendar always seemed extra packed. This May we were busy, once again. This past week flew by, with Scott's graduation in New Orleans. The ceremony on Saturday was surrounded by days of uniting, exploring, dining, drinking, walking, hugging, sharing, toasting and cheering!  

This has been a perfect May. Last year... not so much.

A Year Earlier

It was fun being at Tulane this year, remembering last May when our nephew graduated. I remember snapping this photo of Scott and Andy, hugging. The cousins may have grown up in different states, but they ended up being law students together.

I also remember how I loved the happy graduation distraction. The festive gatherings halted my fretting, over the recent discovery of a lump. Luckily my mammogram came a week later, so I celebrated without real knowledge. My cancer diagnosis came at the end of May. 

No Time for Worries This Year

It was a thrill to celebrate this year, without hidden concerns. I did however, have a couple of not so hidden concerns, about my silly appearance. My crazy hair went crazier in New Orleans and I woke with a left eye that looked like I'd been punched.  It was no treat greeting family I hadn't seen in a year, with my frightful image.
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But luckily this wasn't about me, it was about Scott. And I was too busy feeling proud and enjoying family, (and food) to be bothered.

​At Graduation

When Scott walked across the stage to accept his diploma, I felt butterflies. My own cheering and clapping and camera fumbling kept me from experiencing the stronger emotions that came later. My fumbling also meant, I didn't capture a solid picture of Scott hugging The Dean...

Too Busy to Process

We were able to enjoy numerous celebrations with our combined families. There were toasts and shared stories. It seemed perfect and I was bursting with pride over Scott's accomplishments. But there was little time to share my thoughts with Scott, alone. In fact my "parental processing" pretty much waited until I got back to Texas.  

Time to Reflect

So I returned home and had time to think about the past few days, as well as past decades. I took more time to study this photo, which I'd shared over the weekend in Nola. Everyone had been amused to see 4-year old Scott in the photo, showing interest in the law so many years ago! (Or banging on things, at least.) Scott said he remembered the moment, when his uncle encouraged him to pound that gavel! I love the way my brother is smiling at Scott in this photo. He has smiled and encouraged Scott in many ways over the years.

My brother's smile was even bigger on Saturday, when he greeted Scott on stage. He was The Dean, when he handed Scott the diploma, but he was Uncle when he offered a hug.

May in 1990 

This May has been full. Mother's Day flew by, with calls from the kids and special gifts that I'm only now stopping to appreciate. Now, I'm taking time to think about my own mom and how I wish she were here. I opened up a journal from 1990 and recalled a special Mother's Day with Mom and my kids. This is the only photo I have of the busy day. Don had sent flowers, because I had gone to Ann Arbor, Michigan for a graduation.  

I wish I had photos of the ceremony, later that day at Hill Auditorium. At least my written words help me recall... How 9-month-old Scott sat on my lap and 3-year-old Heidi squealed and shook her stuffed bunny. "Cheer for Uncle Dave!" I encouraged, as my brother crossed the stage to accept his diploma. The words in my journal remind me that I looked over at Mom and wondered how she felt, as she watched her youngest son graduate from law school.

On Saturday, I understood how proud my mom felt on that Mother's Day, 27 years ago. I also felt a giddiness to watch my brother on that stage, without Scott on my lap! They were up there together, this time!
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Grateful

So this May, I feel grateful for so many things. Grateful that I am here, since it was exactly a year ago today, that I went in for a biopsy. May 2016 was not my favorite May, but I think it helped make this one my best. I believe I'm more able to feel gratitude. I feel more thankful than ever before, for family near and far. And I've learned that it's okay to feel proud of your kids, your spouse, your family or yourself!

What a good month!