1979 Don and I celebrated our 42nd anniversary today. (Well, celebrated is kind of a big of a word) But it was a lot better than how Don celebrated his birthday, 15 days ago. Birthday Bypass Surgery! At ages 25 and 22, Don and I had no idea how we would end up celebrating future anniversaries. We had no clue what we'd be like when we were in our sixties. It's odd to look at the 2 of us, then and now. Well, sort of now. The photo above is from months ago. Today was not a good photo day. Spending Our Day Don is still zapped of energy, so we didn't attempt much celebrating. We did go on 2 walks outside and Don hit 2 milestones. He shaved his 16 day beard and we sat outside for the first time. We took our Happy Hour to the patio! I've missed our outside time. No fancy drinks and cocktails today, just our favorite popcorn and bubbly punch. Here we are toasting to our 42 years. Actually it was a sloppy toast, because I was busy fumbling with the camera timer. After I saw this dreary looking photo, I wanted to take one more. But my battery died. So here we are, with our clinking glasses... Cards We brought our cards to the table. It was odd having no gifts, because we always have fun finding clever or sentimental or curious goodies for each other. But it was fun to have some cards, especially the mystery card. Yesterday I posted about the help I got at CVS, when this friendly fellow picked out a random anniversary card, for Don to give me. I thought it was a hoot getting to open my mystery card this evening. The traditional card was sort of corny and not at all the kind Don would have picked. But the words Don wrote inside were sweet. I'm not sure he was as amused by the card thing as I was. He was probably really frustrating that he couldn't get out to pick his own. Dinner and Full Moon Don's appetite is still not quite back, but he was up for ordering a Door Dash meal from Cheesecake Factory. It was a nice change from my cooking these days. I stepped out to catch the full moon after dinner. Don is the Sky Guy. He loves pointing out constellations and looking for shooting stars... eclipses, space shuttles... full moons. He stayed on the couch and I gave a moon report. I can't wait until he's back to enjoying simple things like this. 2-Year-Old Book Earlier in the day, I pulled out this gift from a couple years ago. I figured at some point during the day, we'd sit and flip through this photo book and remember all the fun we've had in our 42 years. I peeked inside myself and enjoyed a little nostalgia. Then I decided to save the book for tomorrow... or maybe a week. Don seems focused on the present right now. I don't pressure him with plans for Thanksgiving or Christmas. And I'm not sure about looking back and reminiscing either. All these active, happy photos might be frustrating.
Maybe I'm overthinking it all. But for tonight, I'm just going to enjoy the book myself. I feel so grateful for these 42 incredible years. I'm also grateful that we have years ahead to collect more memories.
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Off to the Dentist Today I came home from my dental appointment with my usual prize. Yay. I hope I didn't come home with Covid. Today wasn't my first dental appointment during the pandemic. But it was my first time going, since Don's heart surgery. I know that Don's immune system is compromised, so I debated whether I should even go. But we've both gotten our boosters and breakthrough cases aren't common. AND I have teeth that MUST be cleaned twice a year, or I go nuts. Twilight Zone I don't mind going to the dentist. I see the same hygienist and dentist that I've seen for 20 years. They were the ones who cared for my children's teeth and carefully dealt with my mom, who was a complicated patient with Alzheimer's. The staff feels like family. I knew they would even offer a little support, when I told them Don had just gone through open heart surgery. But when I stepped into the office, I didn't feel the usual warmth. It seemed like I'd stepped back in time... pre-covid time. I was greeted by a smiling staff and none of them wore masks. The patients in the waiting room were mask free. We live in an area where 75 percent of the people are back to wearing masks in stores. Why would a medical facility suddenly ease up on masking, when the pandemic continues?
Suddenly I was invited back to have my teeth cleaned, by a hygienist I've never met. She wore no mask as she introduced herself. I asked if my hygienist was sick and she said, "No, she's here." No more explanation. I sat down and removed my mask. "I'm being extra cautious." I rambled awkwardly. "My husband just had heart surgery and he's more vulnerable." Why was I explaining my mask? Why didn't I just ask her if she was vaccinated or if all staff had been vaccinated? I'm the paying client, I could ask. I sat back in my chair and looked up at the TV and spotted HGTV. Ugh. "Do you mind changing the channel?" I asked. That's been Don's go-to TV for healing, these 2 weeks. I needed a change. The new hygienist put on a pink paper mask and worked away, without talking. I was happy with that. I closed my eyes and felt her bad aim with the ultrasonic tool. Ouch. She kept forgetting to use the tube, that sucks the saliva. Gag. And the polishing tool shot liquid down my shirt. Ugh. I felt perplexed that my dental experience had me totally on edge. It was like I was in a dream or on Candid Camera. Why no masks? Where did my hygienist go? And where was my dentist? Suddenly I was given my goodie bag and I was ushered to the front desk. "I'm supposed to see the dentist." I tried to explain that my dental plan included seeing the dentist each time. Then I stopped explaining. I was happy to exit without seeing another person. My dental visit was odd. But how much was just me? I remember feeling on edge the first time I visited the dentist after my cancer diagnosis. It felt horrible to mark the Cancer box, when I updated my records. The dental office then, felt kind of like it did today. Different. It doesn't have to be your very own health changes that put you on edge. I guess I've been more uneasy from Don's recovery, than I realized. CVS Errands I've never liked needing help, even when I was a child. I especially don't like asking for help. But today I did even more than that. I asked a favor of someone I don't even know. In the pharmacy department. So many people have offered help in the last 2 weeks, since Don's surgery. But now that I can leave him home alone, I don't mind dashing to the store. Plus, I feel like he's shopping with me, since I do a lot of communicating with my phone. Even though I have lists, I always end up texting photos and questions. "Which juice looks better?" "Which cough medicine do you want?" New Friend, Kanell (hope that spelling is right) Today, I had a fun encounter with a friendly guy who works in the pharmacy. I think his name is Kanell. He spotted me, juggling an armload of goods and insisted, "You need a cart!" Then he dashed to the front of the store and returned with one. He swiped over the handle with a sanitized wipe and asked, "Can I help you with anything else?" I almost answered with my usual, "No, but thanks for asking." But, suddenly a lightbulb went off in my head. I grinned big, through my mask and spoke! "As a matter of fact..." I told Kanell that I had a very silly favor to ask. I pointed to the greeting card aisle and explained, "Tomorrow's my anniversary and my husband just had bypass surgery. My husband feels awful that he doesn't have a card for me. He told me I should close my eyes and pick one, for him to give me. But I thought maybe you..."
My new friend's eyebrows lifted and I could hear him laugh, behind his mask. I encouraged quickly, "Don't even look to see what's on the front, or the inside. Just reach and grab and turn it around so I can't see it!" Our voices were muffled and our expressions were partially hidden, but we communicated just fine. He handed over the card with a chuckle and wished me a Happy Anniversary. I thanked him for being my assistant and then made one more request. "Would it be okay if I took your picture, so my husband will know who picked out this card?" Kanell humored me with a photo and I thanked him for playing along. I heard him a moment later, laughing with staff behind the pharmacy counter. I left the store in happy spirits. Family and friends have been so supportive in past weeks, but sometimes the kindness of a stranger, offers a special kind of lift! Endless Pillows This sloppy bed-making pic, shows just some of the pillows that fill our bed these days. Don has found a few different ways to place these things for sleep. I can't imagine sleeping in one position. I'm the Queen of Toss & Turn. I'm also one of those people who makes the bed every day, but I haven't for these 2 weeks. I've tossed the comforter and shams aside for a while. Cutting some corners these days. The Red Pillow Don was given this pillow when he was moved to ICU, after his bypass. He was told to hold it to his chest when he coughs. Mostly it's a good tool for getting out of bed or out of the car, or any place where you're tempted to use your arms to push yourself up. I'm glad Don's been cautious, so he can heal smoothly. The other side of this pillow shows an ugly picture of the a real heart. Ugh. I would prefer a furry, stuffed animal pillow to hold onto. But Don's been fine with this red one. He's getting better at maneuvering in and out of bed safely. My "Pillow" This is actually a sachet filled with lavender. It hangs on the drawer knob, of my bedside table. I've been getting up a couple times each night to help Don get adjusted into a new position. His back is kind of miserable these days, from sleeping in one position. Sleep issues are new to Don. I've dealt with them for 10 years. I didn't just have heart surgery, so I'm not going to complain when I can't get back to sleep after helping him. I try to hide my grumpiness in the morning.
But last night I used my own "pillow". I reached over and grabbed that soft, heart sachet and gave it a scrunch. It released a heavenly scent and I put it near my own pillow. Ahhh! That helped. Now Don and I have our own heart pillows! Morning Coffee I miss having coffee with Don in the morning. He's probably allowed to have it, but it just hasn't appeal to him since surgery. We enjoyed a lot of coffee mornings during Covid lockdowns, in 2020. Picking our mugs was a big event! But Don's enjoying tea these days. We're kind of getting in the habit of afternoon tea. I like that. Happy Hours A lot of people developed new drinking habits during 2020. Evening Happy Hour is not a new thing for Don and me. Luckily our pandemic isolation didn't force us to add more drinks, just more props and decor. Mostly I just miss having a glass of wine before dinner. Since Don retired, we both have pretty much done our own thing during the day. "Happy Hour" before dinner, has become our catching up time. We sit down and share what we learned or read or did, during the day. Sometimes I'll hear something curious in the day... but I'll save the story for Happy Hour. New Kind of Happy Hour Don and I are pretty much with each other 24 hours a day, now. So it's hard to report on much new. But we're continuing our Happy Hour Habit, minus wine or cocktails. Again, I don't even know what the rules are with drinking, after heart surgery. We didn't ask because it's not on the forefront of our brains. Don's too focused on healing to be thinking about beer or booze. He's encouraged me to enjoy a glass of wine in the evening, but that's no fun by myself. But, we're enjoying the part we like best... the visiting part. We've got sparkling water and juice options and lots of glasses. Some of these beverage combos are comical and not so great, but I'm glad to sit and sip, with no TV and maybe some soft music. We don't talk lots, but we make a toast to the day's accomplishments! We'll celebrate with some champagne one day. But no hurry.
Cool Front It's been hot and humid since Don got home from the hospital. He hasn't wanted to even sit outside. But a cool front moved in and the world got better! Don woke up before 6 and asked if I wanted to run, before he showered. The Nurse Beth in me, felt concern for a moment. Don't I need to be on duty to start the morning routine? Then I took off! Wow! The air felt incredible and I was back home to see a pretty sunrise. I can't believe how different I felt all day. It's been just about 2 weeks, but routines have been all jumbled and I just haven't attempted to squeeze in exercise. Sloth-like? This is the card I gave Don in the hospital after surgery. It came with a stuffed sloth, holding a heart. (Fitting for heart surgery!) I thought it was a playful gesture, but this image just looked mean today. I tossed it. This card sitting on the counter, might have seemed more amusing, if Don hadn't actually been feeling pretty sloth-like for 10 days. His 4-a-day "walking sessions" have gotten longer. Up to 14 minutes each! He's doing great, but he feels wiped out. Fresh Air! I was energized by being outside on my run this morning, so then it was Don's turn! It was almost chilly when we walked at 1 and 5, today. Both walks were only about 10 minutes, but it was a big milestone getting outside. We're both cautious and don't want him to overdo. In fact I felt sort of reckless as I stepped back to snap this photo... as if I could catch him if he tripped! Mostly I felt like Don's bodyguard, pointing out buckling sidewalks and keeping an eye out for unleashed dogs, or chatty neighbors who might slow us down. I want nothing, to slow down his progress!
Cheers to stepping out in the world! Food Gifts It's pretty touching to see Don's reactions to text messages, cards and a few gifts of food and flowers. He seems surprised by some of this special attention. He hasn't had a hospital stay since a rugby accident in college. Heart surgery is worthy of attention. I wish Don's appetite would return faster. I'm sort of tempted to eat all these Zingerman Food Goodies, myself! Cookies Just over a week ago, Don was only eating ice chips. He finally progressed to applesauce and yogurt. I feel like he deserves some food rewards, but he's still leaning towards things like soup and oatmeal. I thought about making oatmeal raisin cookies today. Healthier than Oreos! I'm glad I didn't. The doorbell rang and a bag of Tiff's Treats Cookies, was sitting on the porch. Inside was a box with 2 dozen cookies! They were still warm, so I put them on a cooling rack. It looks like I baked them! I wish Don was able to enjoy these more. I think he's also worried about what he's supposed to be eating. So am I. I hate change. Grocery Store Time Today I headed for the store with a long list. This is new to me, since Don usually does all the grocery shopping. I was lost in the store. I spent absolutely forever, standing in various aisles, reading labels and pondering. It got a little depressing. I made myself woozy, as I stared at sodium numbers and fat counts. Don and I are pretty healthy eaters. Yes, I know. Cut down on salt and fat. But cutting down would be a lot easier, if we ate red meat and ice cream daily.
Don's new title of heart patient, is stressful. Does this mean we won't get to feast at our favorite German Restaurant, when the kids come home for Christmas? Will Texas BBQ, be a thing of the past? My head was swirling in that store, while I stressed over what I could cook or buy, that would be healthy and yummy. I tossed a low sodium chicken broth in the cart and lots of yogurt and fresh veggies. Then I grabbed tons of cleaning products, because I'm going to get manic about this house if we're stuck home. And then I chose some comfort foods. We'll see what Don's doctor says next week. I'm not going to stress over food just yet. Scott's Last Morning Today was Don's 4th day home from the hospital and Scott's last day in Texas. Wish we could have made the morning more eventful, but there's not much Don is up for yet. Scott suggested we watch the live coverage of the Blue Origin launch. The rocket launch was a fun focus this morning. There was a bit of hoopla in West Texas, when William Shatner (at 90) became the oldest person to reach the edge of space. Reminders of Past It was refreshing to watch some news, that wasn't depressing or worrisome. These upbeat TV moments were so welcome during covid and cancer quarantines, last year and 5 years ago. It was curious watching history being made out near Van Horn, TX! When the capsule returned to earth, the crew stepped out and the 3 younger passengers seemed jubilant. William Shatner's reaction was different. He was joyful yet emotional, while he explained his experience. Don and I high-fived each other and I could see Don was moved. I was surprised that I felt the power of the moment too. I'm sure SNL will spoof the Jeff Bezos event, this Saturday. And maybe Shatner was just using his acting skills, while he reacted to his 10-minute flight. But we 3 seemed to absorb the drama of the moment, differently than we might have on another day. Are these post-surgery emotions? Seems the world is a little different now. Good-Bye Scott We made sure Don got in a walk session, before I needed to drive Scott to the airport at noon. Scott did DJ-Duty and made Alexa play "Walk on the Wild Side" and Patsy Cline's, "Walkin' After Midnight". It was perfect! The house felt playful and energized, for 7 minutes, before Don and Scott hugged good-bye. I think all 3 of us had moist eyes or throat lumps, as least. Why does everything feel so much more dramatic? I made everyone pose for my camera timer. Long Drive It was nice to have the long drive with Scott. We talked the whole way about how the week had gone. The relief of the surgery being behind us. Scott said he was proud of his dad and that he was proud of me too. At the airport we hugged twice and I felt like I wanted to boohoo, right next to the terminal. It was the exact feeling I had when we left Scott at his freshman dorm, in 2008. Back then and today, I felt so lucky and grateful. What an incredible young man, then and now. I was sad to see him go, but glad for him to get back to his own routine.
Don was doing just fine when I got back. I headed upstairs and noticed that Scott had made the bed, just like he'd done the morning before we drove to UT. I had to grin at that. Both days, I'd assumed he might be too rushed or distracted for that gesture. He doesn't exactly make his bed daily. But this was clearly done to please Mom. Thanks Scott! One Week Since Surgery Today is the one-week milestone, since Don's bypass. That's worth celebrating, but we forgot about it. A week ago was also Don's birthday. That celebration also got lost in the shuffle. Last night Don was finally up for opening some gifts. What a mug! But Don will have to wait a while to use it, since he's not up for coffee yet. And he got a couple nice tee shirts, but he's limited with his arms right now. Buttons are better. Books Don got a lot of books for his birthday. When Scott leaves and the house is quieter, maybe we'll both read a lot. But Don said he can't concentrate on reading yet. Luckily he's not in a lot of pain and he hasn't taken any pain meds since we got home. But I read that concentration can be an issue, soon after heart surgery. Puzzles Don and I used to work on jigsaw puzzles and listen to podcasts when I dealt with cancer. We did the same, during lockdown days of the pandemic. Don got a great tiki puzzle for his birthday. Scott put on a podcast and we spread the pieces on the dining room table. I know how much Don loves puzzles, so it made me sad that his back was cramping from trying to reach. Not being able to move during sleep, has been causing some daytime issues. Hopefully this will change, soon! Movies? We talked about watching a movie or some of our favorite series. But again, Don wasn't motivated, because it's hard to concentrate on the TV screen. HGTV or sports sounded okay, but no tricky plots or annoying humor. So I dug in the closet and found a DVD with footage from 1990. We three sat in the family room with the sun glaring on the TV and grinned and laughed and sighed at Baby Scott and 3-7ear-old Heidi.
The best medicine ever! Celebrating a little nostalgia! Scott at Work One week ago Don had a double bypass and today is his first full day, recovering at home. I'm so glad Scott was able to come home for a week. He's done a million little things like putting together a shower stool... something we never thought we'd need in this house. Besides helping with a few chores, Scott has been a valuable buddy for Don. I don't exactly love watching sports, but these 2 watched some football last night. It was just what Don needed. They didn't hoot or cheer or drink beer. They just watched a little and gabbed a little. It was nice to watch them. Using Scott's Muscles I've selfishly made use of Scott. On Saturday, Scott carried our old area rug to the street, with a "Free" sign on it. Yay, because it found a new home. The next day, Scott and I carried this mattress set to the street for "bulky trash pick up day". There's a much bigger story with that, but it's not being shared here. I was just so grateful to have Scott here, to help me with the stuff I can't do myself. And we'll always have the mattress story to laugh and cringe over, in the future! DJ Scott Don is supposed to walk at least 5 minutes, 4 times a day. That sounds silly simple... unless you've just had open heart surgery. Scott has helped make his dad's walk sessions a little less tedious, with his creative DJ work. Luckily we have a large, circular route in our downstairs, so Don doesn't get dizzy. This morning when Don stood up to walk, Scott spoke out to our pumpkin-holding-friend-on-the-counter, "Alexa, play 'Walk Like a Man". Don grinned as he moved in and out of the rooms, while music filled the downstairs. Man, I can't believe how many songs refer to walking. We have a long list now. Reward I feel sad that Scott's visit home, has been so limited. He's come so many miles... his first trip home in years. I wish we could pick up BBQ and sit in the backyard and have tiki drinks and swim. But it's too hot for Don outside and he's not even drinking coffee yet. Forget Happy Hour. But Scott is genuinely glad to be here and support. He seems able to find a balance. He's available and helpful to Don and me. He's done a little work on his laptop. And he's exercised every day.
And he's made use of the pool a couple times. That made me happy! |
Not-So-Happy List
Cancer, Covid & Coronary... I started this complaining list/blog, in May 2016. I posted 200 gripes about my breast CANCER and then I was done. On March 13, 2020, I started venting all over again, when another disease (starting with a C) interfered with my life. This time it was the invasion of COVID and it affected every person. I ranted for a year, until I got my COVID vaccine in March 2021. CORONARY Artery Disease was the reason I restarted this blog on September 26, 2021. This time it was my hubby Don, who was dealing with a worry that started with the letter "C". Coronavirus and Cancer, Coronary Artery Disease! All are evil, but none can totally get me down... if I vent! I usually end up feeling a little more positive at the end of each post! Navigating This Mess! The most recent post is at the top, from coronary posts in 2022, back to cancer posts in 2016. To find past posts, look below the "Archives" section, to find "Categories". Archives
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