I'm overthinking everything these days. There's more time to think when you're sheltering in a quiet house, for 6 weeks.
Don and I aren't juggling jobs or kids, or dealing with illness or job loss. If we were, I wouldn't be overthinking, I would just be doing. Life is simple, so I waste time choosing coffee cups in the morning. What is my mug-mood, today? It's silly, but I'm grateful for simple decisions.
Seeing Real People
We've kept it simple and safe, by staying home. There are very few decisions to be made, when you don't have to navigate the outside world. But now that restrictions are easing up, we have to start making more decisions. Shall we go out to eat? Not now. Do we go to the movies? No.
It was easier when we didn't give ourselves a choice. Should we go to our cabin, 3.5 hours away? Should we actually call an exterminator?
So I had my first face to face, in I don't know how long. I decided to call the exterminator for a problem. Then I asked myself. "Do I wear a mask? Is that what we do now?" It felt odd to greet the exterminator wearing a mask. At least exterminators wear masks anyway.
After 6 weeks of communicating with friends and family through technology, I made the decision to have a friend visit with me in the yard. I was surprised with how stressed I felt after that decision. How do we do this? Do we wear masks? How do we greet each other?
I sanitized the table and propped open the gate. I put on my mask and it felt horribly awkward to wave and not hug. We've both been quarantining, so we're probably not in danger of contaminating each other. But, I'm also just trying to do what's right. What is right?
Once seated, my mask came off and we talked a long time. It was a beautiful day and it stopped feeling like there was a pandemic in the world... except for the mask dangling around my neck.
I'll probably look back and chuckle about how concerned and cautious I felt, about meeting the exterminator or a dear friend who needed to talk. I might tease myself, "Wow, what were you really worried about?"
Or maybe I'll be glad that I took it slow and tiptoed back into the world, cautiously. I'm in no hurry.
Cancer - Covid
I started this complaining list/blog, in May 2016. I posted 200 gripes about my breast cancer and then I was done.
On March 13, 2020, I started venting all over again, when another disease (starting with a C) interfered with my life. Only this time, it was affecting more than me.
Coronavirus and Cancer! Both are evil, but neither can totally get me down... if I vent! I hope with Covid, I run out of complaints before 200!