#195- Don't Like Those Phone Calls

I Used to Like May

May is a happy month. Spring and flowers, graduations and parties. Getting my cancer diagnosis 2 years ago, put a little damper on my May in 2016. But in May of 2017, I had my 6 month mammogram and ultrasound, after my treatments and all was good. 

Now May is the month for my annual Well Woman Exam, Mammogram & Ultra Sound. How great that I only have to go once a year, like most women!!

New Place!

On Tuesday, I got lost going to my imaging place. No one mentioned the office had moved. But I found it eventually and I was pleased!  It's closer to home and it's a whole lot nicer. It was new and fresh, with better gowns, plus coffee and biscotti. And there was hardly a wait! 

I didn't even mind the mammogram. The new Genius 3D machine was sleek and new and Cheryl made the whole thing painless. I remember her from 2 years ago, when I was a nervous mess, with concerns about a suspicious lump.

Zen  

I went in for my ultrasound next. I laughed with Sam about the Zen-like atmosphere and how confused I was by the fancy gowns with 3 arm holes. I felt relaxed, because this is my second year. I know the routine.

But the pressure of the ultrasound tool hurt a little? Is that stupid little fluid cyst thing that came about after my lumpectomy, getting larger? Ouch.

Well Woman

The very next day, I went to see J., my nurse practitioner. I've had her doing my Well Woman exams for over 15 years. She is the very best and I feel comfortable gabbing about anything with her. She knew I'd done my imaging duties, but I felt an extra lift knowing that she was also doing a breast exam. She felt my cyst and didn't seem concerned. Yay! In two days I got those 2, dreaded annual tasks crossed off my list.

Two Hours Later

I got home from my exam and did a little jig before lunch. "Oh boy! Done for a year!" Then two hours later I got a call from the radiologist. Dr. G.  said he saw some changes in my mammogram and ultrasound images. He recommended a biopsy. My heart sunk. Two years ago, Dr. G recommended a biopsy after viewing my results and it turned out to be cancer. I really hadn't prepared myself for the possibility. I don't go around fearing cancer.  

So, I had celebrated too soon. I had assumed all was well, when I did my happy dance. Being told I needed a biopsy felt different this time.  The weight of those words made my body slump, but I didn't have the same fear of the unknown. I went ahead and made my biopsy appointment for June 1 and I sulked. "I hate May." My high mood, suddenly went flat. I so do not want to do this all over again! But I'm a different person than 2 years ago. I felt more angry and irritated than weepy. Then I felt feisty.  "If it's back, then I know how to do this. And if I have do all of it again, with chemo, then I'm getting a Pixie Cut, early on. Why mess with these chemo curls. I'll show them!

So we'll see. Biopsy tomorrow, then the waiting on results period. I'll wait to click "post" until I'm ready. This is not something I'm sharing with the world just yet.