# 135 Don't Like Holiday Socializing

As I've said, my social calendar is not full. I really should be able to handle the few gatherings I've been invited to attend. 

​What to Wear?

It took me a long time to decide what to wear the other night.  I prefer costume parties, because I'm a little more comfortable arriving in "character". It's easy to talk to strangers when everyone's in costume. Right off the bat you've got something to talk about. 

But it's December and I had to go to the party as me... and see people who haven't seen me in a wig before.

​That's a costume, I guess.

Party Hugs

I should have just filled my glass with ornaments. That would have been a good conversation starter. It would have also given me the excuse to give more cautious hugs.  
I never realized how party hugs work with hair.  Maybe it's because I'm short, but I noticed a lot of greetings involved a hug that put a hand on my wig. I should have tightened that thing better. It felt like it was going to slide right off!

A wig malfunction would have been a good converstaion starter, I guess.  And I was able to laugh with those I know well enough... "How's that wig feel to ya?"   

Awkward Conversations

I've always prefered one-on-one chats to group conversations. Over the years, I've gotten better in groups, but my socializing in the past months has been with just family and close friends. This holiday-time has sort of forced me out of my comfort zone. There are people I'm suddenly conversing with in groups, who are seeing me for the first time in a wig, with my straggly eyelashes and brows. I can tell by expressions when someone is trying to figure out why I look different.  And I can tell when someone is avoiding me, because they're uncomfotable about what to say. It's awkward, until someone says something that allows me to announce. "Yes! I'm done with treatments and all is good!" and then we can move on.

Home Sweet Home

I always knew I was a bit of a happy hermit.  And now especially, I crave being home, when I feel my wig getting scratchy. I'm like a horse heading to the stable, eager to get home and whip off my wig.

I will always prefer being at home with family or a couple friends or just myself. But I also know, I'm better off when I face a crowd and a few awkward moments.  I learn from every one of those encounters and I grow in confidence.  I'm glad to be healthy and able to join in... and to have the fun of coming home again!