Holidays in Nola

Last night was our last dinner with the fam, in New Orleans. I'm so glad we came, despite a few obstacles.

As we headed back to our hotel, I insisted we pull over so I could take a photo of this house. Seeing these decorations, (including gators) I was reminded that Don and I have had a lot of fun holidays in this festive town. 

​2019 & 2020

It's odd to look back at the last 2 times we were in Nola. Don and I posed with the lit trees at the Roosevelt Hotel, on Christmas Day 2019.

Two months later, we celebrated Mardi Gras 2020. By the time we got back to Texas, New Orleans was suddenly in the news. We were shocked to realize that Covid 19 had hit the city about the time of our visit. Luckily we caught only beads.

Thanksgiving 2021

Last spring after getting vaccines, we started planning a Thanksgiving visit with my siblings. It seemed a good bet that the city would feel safe in 9 months. We didn't know that there would be a new Delta variant. We didn't know that so many people would refuse vaccines and slow down progress. We didn't know that Don would have open heart surgery either. 

But we kept our plans, when we learned that New Orleans started taking the pandemic seriously. Who would have guessed a city with so few rules, would crack down on safety.

Antoine's & Emeril's

So we've had a few wonderful days. I still can't believe we were able to enjoy a little epic dining, in some of Nola's most famous restaurants.

In Antoine's and Emeril's they checked our proof of vaccination cards, before we were seated.

I'm sure there are people who are enraged by Nola's strict decisions. But, it made all the difference to us, in how comfortable we felt about dining out.

Tourist Stuff

Don and I didn't bother with anything touristy this time. We went on lots of walks and just focused on family. His bypass healing has gone well and his energy is much better. But that frustrating back wasn't up for much activity.

Don said no to the streetcar, but my sister and I put on our masks and caught a ride, just outside of our hotel. We were the only ones on board for a while.

Then it got crowded and I was glad they were strict about masks. I was surprised when the driver turned away a family, when they didn't have face coverings. 

Almost Normal
 
As we get ready to head back to Texas, I feel so grateful that Don was able to give this trip a try. After 2 months of being mostly homebound, it felt kind of like old times.

Don was able to join 2 dinners outings, with the help of a small pillow behind his back. I'm sure he was more uncomfortable than I will ever know, but he hung in there and seemed in good spirits throughout both.

Now we head back home. I feel like this trip shook things up and our routines will be different. It will be interesting to see how things progress at home. Fingers crossed that Don's MRI on Monday, gives us some answers. 

Ready for more holidays!
​

But he insisted and it was fabulous. He took on the cooking, which he loves. The rest of us relaxed and enjoyed catching up. Despite all his work, Chris did join us for a bit, before we sat to dinner!

Drinks and Dogs

While Chris prepped in the kitchen, Don and I enjoyed the fun distraction of being with family. I still can't believe that after 7 weeks of post surgery hunkering down, we're suddenly enjoying family and pets and food and drink, in a place besides our house.

I can't get enough of little Sylvie. Don looks more relaxed in this photo, than I've seen him in weeks. That Sazerac might have helped.

Kitchen Chaos on Thanksgiving 

Today we gathered early at my brother and sister in law's house. There was a lot going on in the kitchen. Chef Chris again, did almost all the cooking. No one can make oyster dressing like Chris.

But Jenni, Kate and I finished up the foods we'd prepped in the hotel. We also managed to clean up dishes and pans without bumping into Chris. The photo above, doesn't quite reveal the craziness in the kitchen. We had a lot less space for cooking than we had in past gatherings. But the fun in today's kitchen, brought back 6 decades of kitchen memories.

Missing Others

In past years, we've had lots more people and lots more crazy, cooking chaos. I lied. I love cooking chaos.

Oh how I miss having our kids in the kitchen, this year. Our families are in 7 states now. It made me sad knowing the kids were in their own homes in OR and CA, cooking for themselves.

FaceTime

But at 2:00, Don and I sat on the porch and FaceTimed the young folk. There was a lot of playful whining. "Oh no fair! We want to be in New Orleans!"

But it was nice to see how excited they were about preparing their own feasts. We heard fun details. It's a lot easier having them so far away, when I know we'll see them all in December.

​Cheers

Dinner was ready at 6 and that's a record for Meyer gatherings. We had the 4 sibs and spouses, my nephew and 3 bulldogs. Food was on the table. Someone put a cushioned chair at the table for Don. We even opened a 1958 bottle of Carruades!

It was really no surprise that it smelled like moldy vinegar. Don's dad bought it long ago for $2.58. We did lots of laughing and toasting, and absolutely no sipping. 

Thankful

I'm so thankful that our gang could gather, despite worries over pandemic and bypass recovery issues. My family even humored me by going along with a crazy tradition. We belted out the Johnny Appleseed song, with some perfect and some awful harmonizing!

I don't think the food has ever tasted better. This Thanksgiving was a special one!
​

And of course we're missing our kids. They've enjoyed a few Nola Thanksgiving gatherings, in past years. We toasted to all the family that we're missing.

Keeping it Simple

​This morning we woke to beautiful weather. It was the perfect day to visit the   French Quarter for beignets and people watching.  

But this year, we've decided to keep it low key and stay put in Garden District.  For only a moment it felt sad to miss out. And then it felt pretty wonderful to not be figuring out the logistics of getting down there and facing crowds. 

Just Walking

So we're spending more time hanging around the hotel than usual. We're acting sort of like old people for a change. We lingered over coffee in the room, then went for a walk. But it's a nice change, not to rushing off.  

The scenery on St. Charles Street, never gets old. 

Nice Change

So today it has been exactly 7 weeks since surgery. Don's been doing his walking therapy since he was in the hospital. Even with crazy back issues, he's kept walking.

So today, we were back at it and it felt refreshing to walk some place different. We saw some gorgeous homes and some curious people... one on a bike draped with Spanish moss. We saw a TV show being filmed and we saw numerous streetcars, filled with masked riders. 

It takes so little to please us! Just happy to be out and about. And tonight we'll eat at my brother and sister in law's! So happy!
​

Quick Packing

A week ago we weren't sure if we should go. Yesterday I scrambled to pack.

Packing for trips usually feels routine to us. Even when we packed during pre-vaccine-pandemic times. But everything felt different. Don couldn't do his usual lugging of bags. There were new things to add to the packing list... meds and heating pad... small pillow his back.

I packed food and dishes for our Thanksgiving contribution. And then we needed dress clothes, in hopes that Don might be up for dining out. Dressing up? I'm out of practice. I stared into my closet forever. And then we needed a couple pandemic items. Face masks and vaccine cards. Gotta love New Orleans! Restaurants require proof of vaccine!

On the Road
​
As the car left the driveway, I could feel a huge weight lift. For 7 weeks, I've hoped we could make this trip and be with my sibs and spouses for Thanksgiving. 

As we hit I-10, I high-fived Don. "I can't believe we're really doing this!" I knew I was in danger of jinxing things, but I was thrilled. Don so deserves a positive change, after 7 weeks of up and down recovery! 

As we hit Louisiana, we saw numerous glowing signs. I felt giddy. Yep, we're wearing our seatbelts and we've had our boosters. Ready to gather with family this year!

Hotel

It was a nice surprise, (especially in Nola) to see the staff and almost all guests at the hotel, wearing masks. The last thing we need is a breakthrough case, after all this.

As we headed up in the elevator, Don got a call from the doctor's office with results from his X-ray. Compressed discs? They scheduled him for an MRI. Ugh. I thought we were escaping the medical focus.

Settling In

But in minutes we were settled into our suite and Don was happy with his heating pad. I started unpacking all the junk we lugged. I love car travel because you get to pack way more than you need... like Thanksgiving decor for your hotel table. 

Then the texts started coming in from my sibs, with logistics for getting to   the French Quarter for dinner. Don didn't want to push his luck. 

I'm so used to "hunkering down" with Don, that I was surprised when he encouraged me to go without him. He said he'd order DoorDash and rest up for tomorrow.

Off I Go

It seems sinful to take off on a dining adventure, without this guy. But Don looks so content, settling into a comfy chair with books, phone and remote control. He's ready to enjoy quiet time in a refreshing, new environment. I'm off to dinner with my sibs and spouses. This seems impossible! Impossibly nice.
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Our morning walk was pleasant, except for all those ugly, discarded masks near the middle school. I counted 8.  I still remember the first time I spotted a trashed mask, in the beginning of the pandemic, when masks were hard to come by. I never thought we'd be seeing mask-litter, 18 months later. A sad sign of the times.

Rock Surprises

When we crossed to the other side of the street, Don pointed out a fancy rock, he'd spotted on his last walk. It was tied with a ribbon, sitting on a low wall.

I spotted another, tucked in with some more rocks. What's the story? I remember pandemic surprises in 2020, when we started walking during lockdown. There were lots of surprises then. There were trees with ribbons hanging from branches. Other trees had stuffed animals, perched on limbs. Those little surprises made people smile and so did these rocks.

Forgotten Surprise

On our way back home, we spotted another surprise near the middle school. In the concrete sidewalk, we could barely make out the initials "SZ".

That gave us another thing to smile about. Those are our sons initials.  Who knows who put those in the fresh cement, the year before Scott started middle school. Hmm? 

Wildlife

​Before we reached home, we stopped to admire this sweet bird. I had to stop and remind myself to appreciate the fact we were actually enjoying our walk. 

Six weeks ago, Don couldn't really talk while he walked. He had to focus and breath and concentrate. He still has to stop and stretch his back along the way, but he's showing improvement! So happy for these little pleasures. So happy that these meds are showing some promise. Looks like we might need to get busy packing.
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New Orleans?

It's Friday and I'm hoping not to be trapped at home much longer. On Monday, Don and I are supposed to head for New Orleans. We've been planning for nearly a year, to spend Thanksgiving with all my sibs and spouses. We'll see.

For a while, it was a maybe for all of us, due to covid worries. Now it's only a maybe for us. Don's trying some new muscle relaxers and they aren't helping his back spasms. He can barely sit for 10 minutes at our own dinner table.

​A Year Ago

If we end up not going, we'll do what we did last year. We'll Zoom with kids and family. Then by ourselves, we'll put the camera timer on and toast to all that we're thankful for.  

We've had so much practice, getting through stuff together. We're a good team. But right now I'm craving family. I'm itchy to get out of this house. We're both ready to team up with others! 

Today they all finished up. The not so friendly tile guy finished and left me a lot of clean up. The painters were wonderful. They were quiet and hardworking and so appreciative when I offered snacks. 

For Now

So now, we're waiting to see if Don's meds start to kick in and give him relief. No packing for Nola, yet. Instead, it's time to tackle some chores.

It's nice to have the house to ourselves, but the house is strewn with junk upstairs and down. Everything needs to be moved back to appropriate rooms, but there seems to be a powdery film over everything. 

Shopping

All the cleaning ahead makes me want to go back to the simple days... of being stuck at home for 2 weeks. Being trapped actually led to some good things. I got lots of online Christmas shopping done. 

Maybe that's not a good thing. Ebay has some really hideous Christmas aprons. Aprons are much more useful, than tacky Christmas sweaters. I can't wait for the kids to come in December. We can all pick aprons and cook.

​Crafty

I'm already looking back on all I got done while workers were here. While they sawed and painted, I cleaned and sorted and pitched. When I unearthed the old sewing machine, I suddenly got crafty and made some fine gifts. 

Who doesn't want a grocery bag holder for Christmas? Or a tacky apron? Maybe all this home time has gone to my head. I need to get out.

Hoping

We're keeping fingers crossed that we can get in the car on Monday and join in the festivities with family.

It will be a treat to have my sibs and spouses all together for the first time since the pandemic. We gathered on Zoom last year. This year, I'm hoping we can all share some pie, in person. 
​

A Little Remodeling

It took a pandemic to motivate Don and me, (and millions of others) into getting some overdue projects done around the house. 

Last summer we got disgusted looking at our worn out house. We made the big step (big for us) and picked out some tile and paint.

Kitchen First

Long before Don's surgery, we made plans for new counters and backsplash. Then Don's bypass was scheduled. We were clueless about the recovery and also clueless about dealing with remodeling projects.  

However, we had enough common sense to realize Don might not want to recover in a home buzzing with dust and noise. We postponed until Don was 5 weeks from surgery. So, last week we were upstairs in the game room for 2 days, while the new counters came in and old backsplash was removed.

Hiding Out Upstairs

Actually it was sort of an adventure. I carried loads upstairs. Don's heating pad and books and lunch fixings... I set up our coffee station in the bathroom. It was kind of a nice change to be in a different space, knowing that exciting changes were happening downstairs.  

At the end of the second day, I wasn't all that surprised when there was glitch. The worker showed us the flawed tile. I guess I didn't expect everything to run smoothly. We reordered and we'll avoid our kitchen for who knows how long.

This Week

This week, our 2 upstairs bathrooms are getting some attention. The coffee station moved from the upstairs bath, to our master bath downstairs. The wallpaper removal is taking 3 days. Lord!  

But the reordered tile came in yesterday and the workman arrived an hour ago, just before Don left to see the doctor.

Quick Peek

So I've found a place out of the way, while painters work upstairs and the tile guy works in the kitchen, with his mariachi music playing softly.

I usually can't stand it when people are working in the house. But, I'm feeling positive. I just went in to have a peek and I'm excited to get this done. I'm also relieved that Don is finally seeing the doctor. I'm keeping fingers crossed that he will come home, with some solution for his back pains. 

I feel like this day will end well!
​

On October 5, I took this photo right before they wheeled Don away to have his surgery. I remember thinking, that in a few hours, surgery would be over and it would be all about the healing. I was eager to get started on that. I expected ups and downs, but these past 2 weeks have been tough.

​First Month

The first month felt like 6 months to me. Probably a year to Don. But we got into routines. I attempted to play nurse. I got very good at taking Don's blood pressures. I could pop up and down and assist cheerily, even in the middle of the night. 

But there's only so much I could really do to help. That was actually pretty frustrating. Don was a trooper though. He used the crazy plastic breathing thing, to exercise his lungs. He got up to walking 3 miles a day. It was nice that I could do that part with him. 

Staying Healthy for Him

While Don dealt with a million post op issues (coughing, sore throat, dizziness, chest pain and spasms) I brought him whatever I could to help. He rarely complained. I tried not to annoy with all the questions I wanted to ask.  

I worried and wondered how patients recover from this surgery, when they live alone. Or when their partner is sick or working. I raced to Walgreens, (wearing my mask) and got my flu shot. I need to stay healthy, so Don can get well faster!

The Back!

The day after Don's 4-week check up, Don's back went wonky. Back spasms. He was just starting to feel normal. He was doing better with sleep and walking twice daily.  

He took a break from walking one day. Then it became clear that even brushing his teeth caused back pain. I tried to focus my nursing skills on back massage. I studied this image, in hopes of understanding what was going on under that skin. It's actually nice to have something concrete that I can help with, now.

Heat

Not sure how these back issues could be related to heart surgery, but everything seems to be related. Don reached out to the cardiologist. "If I hadn't just had this surgery, I would have guessed I had a broken rib." Don's cardiologist told him to see his primary care doctor. I hate that kind of answer.

I'm glad Don had his surgery in 2021 and not 1951. Yay for specialists who have done the same surgery a million times. But, I wanted more guidance from a doctor who really understands the surgery. I hate when doctors pass their patients to someone else. I miss the good old days. A little bit.

So it's been 2 weeks since the back started. Don sees our primary care doctor tomorrow. In the mean time, Don will spend a little more time resting against this heating pad. And I'm perfecting my massage therapy skills.
​

No complaining really. Just communicating that it's been odd. Don is the main cook in our house and I took over, 2 days before his surgery. He wasn't very hungry that night, but I made one of his favorite comfort foods. It didn't taste that good to either of us.

First Week

The first week home, I made some soups and offered some pudding. Don's throat was sore and nothing much appealed to him.

By the second week, Don still had little interest in food. I waited until week 3, to do anything as spicy as ravioli and Caesar salad. Not that great.

Blue Apron

Then we forgot to cancel Blue Apron delivery, so suddenly I was fumbling with the recipe cards and and ingredients, by myself. Again, not a big deal problem. But, these silly food kits are more fun with 2 cooks. They were a source of entertainment and camaraderie, during covid lockdown days. I kind of miss those days.

We'd crank up the music and I'd chop while Don sizzled foods in the skillet. Sometimes, I'd complete my duty and let Don finish up, while I practiced my juggling or danced with oven mitts on my feet. I miss team cooking as well as entertaining the cook.

But I was surprised when I realized it was a nice treat to quietly cook, while Don sat with the heating pad on the couch. It was kind of enjoyable, focussing on a little meal prep, on my own. Just not forever please!

Coffee Table Dinner

We've been eating every lunch and dinner at the table. Norman Rockwell old-fashioned dinner, on placemats. Don isn't comfortable long in chairs these days, but the move to the table is healthy for the body and soul.

However, we recently had a wonderful snack night at the coffee table and it started to feel like "old times". Even if we were having water instead of wine.

Carryouts and Door Dash

Now Don's appetite is pretty much back. We had our first sushi a few days ago. I remember the treat of sushi, after months of cancer treatments and waiting for the immune system to return to normal.

I don't think June Cleaver ever served carryout sushi, on disposable trays. I also don't believe she would have allowed a jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen  table. But finally Don has ​gotten interested in puzzles again. The kitchen table is the only place he's half comfortable, for a little puzzling. Yay for this new step!

Cooking on Hold

Now my cooking is suddenly on hold. We've had 2 days with workmen in the kitchen. We had to put our counter & backsplash project off a couple times, due to the surgery. Now the project has started and it's a nice distraction.

However, we have a little setback. The backsplash was supposed to go up today. Turns out, our tile is defective. The project is on hold and new tile has been ordered. Who knows when work will start up again?

But we learned how to be flexible during the pandemic. Dining out won't work for us right now, but cheers for DoorDash delivery!
​

The bridal couple cautiously postponed their wedding a year ago. But here we are still dealing with a pandemic, a year later.  

Vaccine or Mask Required

The couple requested that guests be vaccinated or wear masks. 

I'm vaccinated, but I still felt a little bit anxious. Should I wear a mask anyway? Is Don still extra vulnerable after his bypass, 4+ weeks ago?
​
Feeling Odd

It felt odd going through my closet looking for something to wear, after dressing casually for 19 months. It felt odd leaving Don behind and driving myself to the venue out in the county. 

I reminded Don before leaving, that the last time I went solo to a wedding, I caught the bouquet and got married a year later. I remember feeling totally confident, when I went alone to Claire's wedding at age 21, why was I feeling uncomfortable at 64?

Outside

​It was a beautiful evening and the ceremony was outside. Still, I felt awkward sitting next to people that I don't know, during a pandemic. I actually know a few people who have gotten break through cases while attending weddings. There seemed to be enough space, so I left a chair between myself and the stranger.  (I didn't see a mask anywhere, btw)

Once seated, I could enjoy watching J & N exchange vows. Finally! They've postponed twice during this crazy pandemic. The pandemic is also the reason why my daughter wasn't  watching her dear friend get married. They've known each other since 6th grade. Heidi had hoped to fly from Portland, but worries over travel with an unvaccinated baby...

I got to hug the sweet bride and chat with 4 other friends of Heidi's and their hubbies. Weddings always make me feel sentimental, but these past 19 months have made us all feel so much more grateful for one another. 

​Remembering

Since these girls graduated from High School in 2005, there have been numerous weddings and quite a few babies.

Don and I have been lucky to see quite of few of these girls get married. I missed having Don with me.  He was actually really sad, not being able to attend.

Solo Dining?
​
Before long we were invited to find a seat. I pick my own?  Assigned seating is a relief when you're by yourself. But suddenly I felt like the new kid in the school lunchroom. Where do I go? The tables were set for 8 and the 4 couples I knew, fit nicely at one table. They graciously assured me they could grab another plate and chair and squeeze me in. 

I assured them I was fine and moved towards a nearby table. Suddenly it became clear to me that all guests were seated and I was ready to dine alone. I sort of chuckled to myself and moved over to a table with 4 guests and invited myself to join. The women were busy talking to each other and the 2 men in short sleeved shirts, talked about having to miss the first day of deer hunting season. I was glad to have empty chairs between us, but it made conversing hard. I was suddenly happy to have food and toasts to focus on. 

Slipping Out 

Before long, we were invited to the terrace, for the bride and groom's First Dance. Would it be okay to quietly slip out and head home? I had a long drive and a healing hubby at home. Did I need an excuse? Would someone notice me leaving early?

Even though I'd felt awkward a couple times during the evening, I knew the spotlight had never really been on me. I reminded myself of Don's favorite "nobody cares" advice. It sounds mean, but it's true that nobody is as worried about you and what you say or do, as you are yourself. 

So, while the guests followed the couple to the deck, I headed for the dark parking lot. My cellphone flashlight helped me find my car. I sat in the car and felt cozy and happy. I'm so glad I got to see sweet Jessie get married. I'll remember that it was a beautiful night and beautiful setting and she will maybe remember that I was there.

I sat in the car and texted Heidi some photos. I texted Don that I should be home in 40 minutes. He told me to drive safely. And when I got home, Don was fine and hardly needed me a bit. But I was happy to play nurse again.
​

Rain

Yesterday's troubling news, is lingering today. I woke to a rainy window view and it seemed to fit. 

The wet morning felt gloomy, but I actually preferred that. I didn't want the sun pouring in the windows.

​Sun Out

But the sun came out in the afternoon. That meant Don and I could get out and walk. That's good for physical and mental health. At yesterday's appointment his doctor said he can walk as much and as fast as he wants.

The doctor also said there would be good days and bad days ahead. Today Don started dealing with back spasms. Is that what he meant? We had to cut the walk short. This is frustrating. But we saw some yellow leaves. 

A little hint of fall in Texas. Oh I hope we'll be able to go to New Orleans for Thanksgiving in less than 3 weeks!
​

Our daily walks are enjoyable now. We walk longer and talk more. Today we noticed a lot of old geezer couples out walking. (retired like us) Turned out they were headed for the Sartartia Middle School. Voting Day.

Voting Time Again

No big presidential candidates to vote for this November.  

Cancer and Covid didn't  stop us from voting in 2016 and 2020.

2021

We couldn't really use Don's coronary bypass recovery as an excuse to not vote. After all, we were out walking, passing by the obvious signs. However we didn't have masks or IDs.

But we returned on our evening walk... after we had a chance to educate ourselves. No big candidates, but it felt good to vote for 7 good propositions. It feels good to embrace what we can do! Vote!

Follow Up #2

As I said the day began well. It progressed well. We drove to Don's cardiologist at 3. Don had the follow up with the surgeon. What would the cardiologist think of Don's progress.

We waited a long time in the waiting area. The a.c. wasn't working and I was fidgety like a little kid, itching my nose through my mask.

Ugly Posters

We got called back to Dr. T's office. I was critical of all 8 posters on the wall. I was critical of the corny framed print on the wall. Is this supposed to calm us, after taking in all the poster info?

I was reading about how liver produced cholesterol, when Dr. T entered. By 5:00, Don and I were back in the parking lot ripping off our masks and grinning! What a wonderful report! Dr. T was pleased with all the recovery he could witness with the exam. But he was also positive about reports from the hospital. He basically said there will continue to be good and bad days with chest pain and healing. There are movement limitations due to chest mending. But Don's health is such, that he can continue with the same diet and get his heart rate up as high as he wants. Cheers!

​News

Our day did not end well. In the evening, I received a phone call that I will never forget. 

News of my friend, knocked the wind out. There were more phone calls and Don was there to comfort. After weeks of being nurse to Don... Don was there for me today. I end the day, beyond sad.

Chilly Morning

It's been 3 weeks since Don came home from the hospital. And today is Halloween. I like celebrations, so I was determined to enjoy both. At least, in a tiny way.

We actually had perfect Halloween weather today. It was chilly enough for a fire in the early morning. And our mid morning walk was lovely.

Zoom Time

Late morning, Don and I ended up on a Zoom call. This is the first time we've Zoomed since we Zoomed with kids, 2 days before surgery.

Looking back just one year, I'm reminded that I swapped out a head scarf for a face mask, when answering the door. Both Halloweens, were altered by cancer and covid. This year, I was happy again for a nice distraction.

Looking Back Further

I can never resist thinking back to when the kids were super small. Halloween was so simple and fun.

In the Present, Near and Far

The best part of today, came in the early evening, after we returned from our second walk. I lit our jack-o-lantern before it got dark and Don and I settled down with popcorn and 2 small glasses of wine.

Suddenly my siblings started texting from Oregon, Louisiana and Idaho. Then my sister in law in NY and her  son's fam in CA, started texting. And there we sat in our TX home, feeling connected with far away family, sharing photos and tidbits of news, about our little Halloween celebrations.

Our Kids, in the Present

But the very best "in the moment time" came when our kids in CA and OR, began texting photos and updates about the happenings in their neighborhoods. I'm so glad they both moved into good neighborhoods during the 2020 pandemic. It was fun peeking into their worlds.

Our kids are grown and married, but today we shared a little Halloween time, in real time!

Trick or Treaters & Chili

Don and I settled into the evening. I answered the door only 3 times, but I loved visiting with those kiddos. I've always loved door duty. I wish we'd had more.

Then we ate the chili, that I made yesterday. (Not as good as Don's) And we even watched Hitchcock's Psycho. Today, our 42rd Halloween together, was so much more fun than our 42nd anniversary, 2 weeks after surgery.

​Future

We chuckled through a lot of Psycho and I let my cell phone happily break in during the thriller. We fit in a quick FaceTime with this little Halloween Girl. It's so hard being thousands of miles away, but I'm eager about the future... as in Christmas!  Charlie will be 10 months old when we see her!

I'm also eager about the far off future! Will this little girl be an astronaut someday? Who knows? But at least, Don and I have done everything possible from surgeries to vaccines, to make sure we're around a long time, to see our grandkids grow up!
​

Pandemic Masks

This time last year, I didn't think we'd still be wearing masks to go grocery shopping.

Glad I didn't get rid of any masks after I was vaccinated. I'm still wearing them when I grocery shop. 

Pandemic Gloves

​Luckily wearing disposable gloves to the store, was only done for a short period of time. 

I don't wear disposable gloves out in the world anymore, but I wore some, 3 times today, at home! So nice to have boxes of these hanging around. My annual silver polishing chore, was much easier today!

​Chili Making

So was my annual Halloween chili making! No stinky fingers!

Actually, Don is the one who usually makes the chili. He could probably have helped today, if we hadn't gone on a 40 minute walk this morning. Our walks have been so nice, with cooler weather. But they do wear him out.

Annual Pumpkin Carving

It was a real treat carving with gloves this year. 

Actually the gloves didn't help too much with the carving. But the plastic gloves really helped when it came to scooping up the seeds and goo! 

I love these annual chores. I remember doing these 3 things after I'd had my last chemo, 5 years ago. I remember doing these 3 things last year, when the world seemed odd and distorted, with pandemic challenges. Today I love knowing October is almost over and we are about halfway through Don's recovery period!
​

Coming Home From Hospitals

I've compared the stresses of these recent weeks, to the uneasy times early in the pandemic, or the time when I dealt with cancer. But I also remember some of those feelings, after bringing Heidi and Scott home from the hospital. 

Leaving the hospital with a new baby, is a lot easier (and happier) than leaving the hospital with the scars and uncertainties of open heart surgery. But there are a lot of similarities. 

Adjustments

I remember feeling uneasy when we arrived home with our first baby. With Heidi, there was so much joy, but so many unknowns. Back then, Don and I felt like we were a pretty flexible team, but we were both used to schedules and suddenly there wasn't one.

I remember worrying the first time I put Heidi down for bed. The night ahead seemed like a huge unknown. I have absolutely no control over her schedule right now. If only I knew what to expect. If there was some predictability, I would feel more at ease.  

​Exhaustion

That's kind of how I felt when Don came home 3.5 weeks ago. I'm sure he felt the same.

I wasn't used to feeling exhausted 35 years ago and neither was Don. We hung out on the couch a little more back then, just like we do now.  

Lists

After 24 hours at home, Don began to have some kind of schedule. That helped. I wasn't the one hurting and recovering, but my routines had also been turned upside down. When do I shower or run? When can I dash to the store? I did what I always do, when I need a little control. I made lists.  I noticed that Don was making lists too. He made some on his phone. First time milestones like, Climbing the Stairs or Walking Outside, that he could check off.

This list of WALKING songs was the first list he made, on a piece of scratch paper. Our son Scott was visiting then and he played DJ, with Alexa. Those silly upbeat walking songs were a huge help, with those 5 minute house walks, 4 times a day! 

Goals for the Day

In the hospital, the nurses would often ask Don what his goal was for the day. Then they'd write his answer on the dry erase board. Just like school.

Not even sure why I took a photo of this, when I first arrived in ICU after surgery. Don wasn't asked about his goals, that day. (Did Nurse Nelson write 77kg, 185 cm...?) But in following days they asked him. It's a good way for a patient to feel like he has control. And Don continued at home for a while, with daily goals about doing breathing exercises or getting his shirt on himself. 

Toasts to Accomplishments

This evening, we hit less healthy milestone. First martinis! They were tiny martinis, but they were festive and tasty. We've toasted with juice & sparkling water concoctions, for a few weeks. Today we had a tiny toast, using our favorite vintage glasses. That was a treat!

I didn't beat the rain. The alarm on my phone went off before I arrived.

Store to Myself

I hate grocery shopping. Don has done pretty much all the shopping for the last few years. I know he misses it. He would have loved it today.

I had the place to myself. I texted him once to ask if the rain had started at home. The lights were flickering in the store and I could hear rain pounding the roof. I tried to rush my shopping. I hate missing a good storm.

Oops

I was glad that Don wasn't with me when I knocked a Gatorade to the floor, with my sloppy reach.

I had just texted Don, so why not capture the mess on my cell phone? Then I alerted a man stocking shelves on another aisle. "I didn't do it!" I teased. "It was one of those people!" I pointed to the empty aisle. He was very kind and didn't scold.

Waiting it Out

I dashed to the car and wanted to race home to enjoy the storm with Don. I love sky drama, from our family room windows!

But I waited a while for rain to ease up. I made my daily call to Dad in Missouri. We talked about rain and I asked if he could hear the thunder. We've talked about weather a lot, in the 18 months that I've been calling during this pandemic.

​Movie Afternoon?

​The rain eased up a bit and I drove home, eager to enjoy a stormy afternoon.

But Don was finishing up last night's (taped) sports. I'm glad the Astros made the World Series. It's giving Don a nice distraction, while he heals. But oh how I wish we could have watched some Alfred Hitchcock movie, while the skies rumbled. I really have to bite my tongue about my TV complaints in past weeks. I remember how Don patiently watched a lot of Turner Classic Movies with me, during my cancer months!

​Good-Bye Rain

I was disappointed when the skies dried up. 

But when I stepped out, the air had turned fresh and cool and the flowers looked happy. Our evening walk was pleasant. We're walking longer and talking more each day. 

Wine and TCM!
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By 6 pm, I had a meatloaf in the oven and Don decided he might be up for a tiny bit of red wine. After 3+ weeks, that wine tasted pretty heavenly. Even if we only had a 1/2 glass, in our tiny wine sampler glasses!

And after dinner, Don seemed slightly game for watching a campy horror movie, on TCM Channel. I'm not sure what I've missed more in 3 weeks, wine or TCM? Tonight I had a little of both and it was a treat!

Mostly it was a treat, feeling like a little bit of normal is coming back to our world.
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3 Weeks! 

It's been 3 weeks since open heart surgery. Don is progressing, but he still has to be very cautious. That's why I was a little surprised when I heard him in the garage. My cautious nurse-side scowled. "Speed bag! Are you kidding me?" He only punched for a minute... nice and easy. No frantic pounding.  But still. ​

Don asked me to take a quick video and he sent it to the kids, to show what he's up to after 3 weeks of recovery. I scolded like a nagging mom, then took the vid. The kids applauded in response. I let them know I definitely didn't encourage that, but I took it as a sign that he was ready for some garage cleaning soon.

Don responded in the thread, "Dr said 36 to 48 weeks before I can help w/ garage cleaning. (shrug emoji) 

Glad the humor is back!

Isolating in 2016

Don and I learned how to quarantine,  years before the pandemic.

For months, our world revolved around surgery and chemo and radiation appointments. My energy was up and down and my compromised immune system kept us closer to home.  

Spring 2020 

In spring of 2020, Don and I found ourselves quarantining at home again. This time neither of us was sick. And pretty much the whole world was hunkering down along with us.

We had our days when the isolation felt worrisome and odd and frustrating. But for the most part, we survived with lots of silliness. There were things I loved about the isolation.  I could forget make up and expensive haircuts. No more answering the door. It was like being snowed in, with your favorite person.

Fall 2021

​18 months later, we're back to hunkering down. Don's recovery from open heart surgery will take 6 to 9 or even up to 12 weeks. 

We've had boosters, but the pandemic is still here and Don is more vulnerable, now. I throw on a mask and run to the store, but mostly we are home, staying pretty isolated.

Pandemic Walking

During the pandemic we started walking regularly. I still did my predawn runs, but I loved getting out later in the morning and walking with Don.

Instead of walking in our neighborhood, we drove a mile and walked where we knew no one. We enjoyed the change of scenery.

Walking and Socializing

Now that Don is doing 2 outside walks a day, we just walk in our neighborhood. Different routes and different times. It's nice to change it up. Lately we've encountered a few ghostly decorations. 

We've also encountered some live people on our walks. It's the oddest thing. For years I've run early, often before daylight. I love NOT seeing people. Now on our walks, we're suddenly seeing neighbors and friends, most we've not seen since the pandemic began.

Luckily Don is not clocking his walks so carefully anymore. And he's not exhausted and frustrated, by occasionally stopping to chat. Some of the people know that Don has had surgery and some don't. But all the waves or short conversations have given us a nice little break or lift in our day. The brief encounters have actually been just what the doctor ordered. Isolation is sometimes needed, but interacting with others is actually refreshing. 
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The dreaded people encounters are not so dreaded anymore.

Robocalls

My cell phone has been really bugging me. I counted 35 robocalls yesterday. 

 

I woke up to a couple of these fine texts this morning.

Back in Time

I'm spending way too much time deleting and blocking and they still keep coming.  

I'm about ready to go back to the day of landlines... where an occasional prank call was the only worry.
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​Need Cell Phone Camera

But I need that darn cell phone, these days. Especially the camera. I text pictures of food options to Don, when I'm at the grocery store. And about a week ago, I started letting the phone help me in the house, when Don was less mobile. 

Last week I discovered a toilet leak upstairs. Don asked me to take a photo and show him what I meant. He hadn't attempted stairs yet, but the problem intrigued him.

The Handyman-side of Don won over the Patient-side. He was pretty sure he could fix that leak, if I'd carry the wrenches upstairs. That was on Oct 18, when he'd been out of the hospital a week. He took his first trip upstairs and found that it wasn't too challenging. We ended up needing a plumber after all, but at least Don decided he could start adding stairs to his indoor walking routine. I'm glad we're not in a tiny apartment!  

YouTube Help at the Gas Station

The phone has been helpful recently, but it couldn't help me 2 weeks ago when I had a ridiculous moment at the gas station. 

We've had our Subaru over 8 months and I haven't once filled the gas tank. That makes me feel like June Clever and I'm not proud. When I pulled up to get gas, I couldn't figure out how to open the gas lid. I sat and searched for the release button. I could have texted Don at home, but I was sort of mortified. I put on my glasses and searched. I grabbed my cell and searched for a Youtube video. Yay, I found an YouTube video. The useless video showed a button, that I don't have. I almost cried. I gave up and drove home. Later I quietly asked Don and he didn't laugh. He just told me that you press the outside of the door and it pops open.

I have a feeling Don was happy to be able to offer me some help.
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Morning and Evening

Don has been walking 4 times a day, since we got home from the hospital. Now he's able to do 2 of those outside. 

His first outside walk was a week ago. It was about 10 minutes long and it seemed forever. It felt so odd to walk and not talk. I kept having to bite my chatty tongue, since Don wasn't up for walking and conversing. But then I thought about hiking. When we hike, we often walk silently. It was good to remind myself.

Today

So today it's a week later and Don's up to 40 minutes at a time and it feels so different. I'm actually enjoying the scenery.

I don't feel like I'm his bodyguard anymore. Yesterday, I was able to step away and look at the baby ducks! Today Don made a couple silly remarks about some of our fellow walkers. Don's humor is returning!

A New Route

Our longer walks are taking us to different parts of our neighborhood community. Different scenery and different houses to study.

We spotted this renovated playground that we didn't even know existed. It's a 5 minute walk from our house. We're so in the moment these days, but this sight sparked a new enthusiasm for the future. Don later sent this picture to our daughter and said, "We can take Charlie here when you visit at Christmas!" I'm excited about that. I'm also excited that Don is thinking ahead now, as he sees himself getting stronger!

Mushrooms

​We got home and Don headed inside, while I stopped to study the mushrooms that popped up in our yard mulch.

So pretty. A week ago, I wouldn't have done that!
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Meeting Up with the Surgeon

Today was Don's first outing since surgery. Too bad it wasn't something more fun than a follow-up appointment. 

But it was good to get out. Don sat in the backseat and I played chauffeur again. It still seems pretty unlikely that we'd have an accident and airbags would harm his healing chest. But I was glad we'd done as we were told. We only had a 3-mile drive, but just outside of our neighborhood, traffic came to a halt. They were rerouting traffic due to an accident. On our drive home, we witnessed another accident. Yikes! 

In the Office

Don and I waited for Dr. A., in the same office where we sat, just over 3 weeks ago. On that day, we had Don scheduled for a stent. I remember staring at this plastic heart on display and thinking. "Oh, that's a stent?"

By the time we left the office that day, I had learned that the colorful model was not showing a stent. I also learned that Don probably wasn't going the stent route, which came with a quick recovery time. It's been 3.5 weeks, since that day and I know a whole lot more about hearts.

Waiting

While we waited for the doctor, I studied the screen, with some Covid updates. Again, I'm grateful this surgery was in October 2021 and not 2020.

When Dr. A came in, he seemed very happy about Don's progress. The long strip of tape was removed and Don's scar was totally revealed for the first time. Again the doctor seemed pleased. He reminded us, that Don was very lucky that his blockage in the left main artery had been detected, since he had no symptoms. He told us that this is the kind of case you hear about, when some guy who appears totally healthy, is out jogging and suddenly has a heart attack. If there's no one there to help... Gulp. Once again, grateful.

I was glad Dr. A was not rushing us. He was open to questions. Don asked about caffeine and was told he should wait a couple more weeks for coffee. Dr. A did however say Don could have a beer with the Astros game tonight! Really? Hmmm. He even said Don could drive, since he's not on pain meds. (What? Aren't airbags still an issue?) The doctor reminded Don about no lifting, but encouraged as much walking as possible. I asked about Don's immune system and his vulnerability at this point. The doc was vague about how cautious Don should be, but he did mention how much better things are, now. He said that not that long ago, things were pretty rough. Two of his patients got Covid, while recovering from bypasses in the hospital. Again. I'm glad about this timing!

Dr A. finally stood and shook Don's hand. (some doctors have gone to elbow bumps now) I said I had one more question. I was wondering about some of the things I've read, that talk about the connection between open heart surgery and mental health. I mentioned that Don was having a hard time concentrating. Dr A. was quick to say that some patients do have some temporary changes in mood and cognitive abilities soon after. I asked why that would be? He mentioned something about the long surgery and hours of anesthesia and then he mentioned the heart-lung machine...

So I wasn't reading "fake news" yesterday. There really are issues associated with the machine that circulates blood, while the heart is stopped... tiny debris and air bubbles enter the brain. I find this worrisome. 

I'm just glad I got a bit of an answer to my question. I wish I'd had the nerve to ask another,  "Why don't you tell patients about this earlier?"
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Foggy Morning

This morning felt like Halloween, with all the eerie fog. In fact this whole month of October seems like a foggy dream. Our schedules and routines are so altered.

But Don encouraged me to get out and run, today. I felt sort of guilty dashing off, before helping him get his morning started. But I went and the misty air felt good. I guess Don knows as well as I do, that I'm a much more patient and cheerful companion/nurse, when I've gotten some exercise.

I actually hate running, but I do my best thinking/planning when I run. I loved having the fog this morning. Trotting through the moist morning, seemed to clear the fog in my own brain. 

Cardio Blues

As I jogged along, I thought about what I read on my iPad. (I should have read fiction!) Last night I Googled, "Tips for helping your spouse after bypass surgery." Yikes. Suddenly I was reading articles that made me worry. A New York Times article talked about how regaining emotional strength after a bypass, was sometimes harder than the physical challenges.

I read about terms like "Cardio Blues" and "Pumphead". There were discussions of personality changes and depression after heart surgery. I know from my own experience that surgery can bring on the blues, but these studies were specific to open heart surgery. Up to 75 percent can have issues with anxiety and depression and cognitive abilities.  

So many hours under anesthesia is one reason, but my reading got off on a whole other tangent, about the heart-lung machine... used when the heart is stopped during surgery... particles and debris can get into the blood stream... leading to cognitive challenges. Ugh! This is what I hate about the internet. You can't forget this stuff!

As I ran this morning, I felt some anger pounding into the pavement. If this is all true, then why did no one speak of it, when they mentioned all the other risk factors with heart surgery? Don has said many times that he has trouble concentrating. Movies, books, puzzles are not appealing right now.

We have a follow up with the surgeon tomorrow. I wonder what questions he'll ask Don, when he's determining how recovery is going? 

But as I neared the house I felt stronger and braver. I will speak up tomorrow, because luckily I can be at that appointment. A year ago, I wouldn't have been allowed in, due to Covid. But Don and I will go together and I'll ask questions myself and learn more. Well, at least that's the plan.

At ages 25 and 22, Don and I had no idea how we would end up celebrating future anniversaries. We had no clue what we'd be like when we were in our sixties. It's odd to look at the 2 of us, then and now. Well, sort of now. The photo above is from months ago. Today was not a good photo day.
 
​Spending Our Day

Don is still zapped of energy, so we didn't attempt much celebrating. We did go on 2 walks outside and Don hit 2 milestones. He shaved his 16 day beard and we sat outside for the first time. 

We took our Happy Hour to the patio! I've missed our outside time. No fancy drinks and cocktails today, just our favorite popcorn and bubbly punch.

Here we are toasting to our 42 years. Actually it was a sloppy toast, because I was busy fumbling with the camera timer. After I saw this dreary looking photo, I wanted to take one more. But my battery died. So here we are, with our clinking glasses...

Cards

​We brought our cards to the table. It was odd having no gifts, because we always have fun finding clever or sentimental or curious goodies for each other.

 But it was fun to have some cards, especially the mystery card.  

Yesterday I posted about the help I got at CVS, when this friendly fellow picked out a random anniversary card, for Don to give me. I thought it was a hoot getting to open my mystery card this evening. The traditional card was sort of corny and not at all the kind Don would have picked. But the words Don wrote inside were sweet. I'm not sure he was as amused by the card thing as I was. He was probably really frustrating that he couldn't get out to pick his own. 

Dinner and Full Moon

Don's appetite is still not quite back, but he was up for ordering a Door Dash meal from Cheesecake Factory. It was a nice change from my cooking these days.

I stepped out to catch the full moon after dinner. Don is the Sky Guy. He loves pointing out constellations and looking for shooting stars... eclipses, space shuttles... full moons. He stayed on the couch and I gave a moon report. I can't wait until he's back to enjoying simple things like this. 

2-Year-Old Book

Earlier in the day, I pulled out this gift from a couple years ago. 

I figured at some point during the day, we'd sit and flip through this photo book and remember all the fun we've had in our 42 years. I peeked inside myself and enjoyed a little nostalgia. 

Then I decided to save the book for tomorrow... or maybe a week. Don seems focused on the present right now. I don't pressure him with plans for Thanksgiving or Christmas. And I'm not sure about looking back and reminiscing either. All these active, happy photos might be frustrating.

Maybe I'm overthinking it all. But for tonight, I'm just going to enjoy the book myself. I feel so grateful for these 42 incredible years. I'm also grateful that we have years ahead to collect more memories.
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Off to the Dentist

Today I came home from my dental appointment with my usual prize. Yay.
​I hope I didn't come home with Covid. 

Today wasn't my first dental appointment during the pandemic. But it was my first time going, since Don's heart surgery. I know that Don's immune system is compromised, so I debated whether I should even go. But we've both gotten our boosters and breakthrough cases aren't common. AND I have teeth that MUST be cleaned twice a year, or I go nuts.

Twilight Zone

I don't mind going to the dentist. I see the same hygienist and dentist that I've seen for 20 years. They were the ones who cared for my children's teeth and carefully dealt with my mom, who was a complicated patient with Alzheimer's. The staff feels like family. I knew they would even offer a little support, when I told them Don had just gone through open heart surgery. 

But when I stepped into the office, I didn't feel the usual warmth. It seemed like I'd stepped back in time... pre-covid time. I was greeted by a smiling staff and none of them wore masks. The patients in the waiting room were mask free. We live in an area where 75 percent of the people are back to wearing masks in stores. Why would a medical facility suddenly ease up on masking, when the pandemic continues?

Suddenly I was invited back to have my teeth cleaned, by a hygienist I've never met. She wore no mask as she introduced herself. I asked if my hygienist was sick and she said, "No, she's here."  No more explanation.

I sat down and removed my mask. "I'm being extra cautious." I rambled awkwardly. "My husband just had heart surgery and he's more vulnerable." Why was I explaining my mask? Why didn't I just ask her if she was vaccinated or if all staff had been vaccinated? I'm the paying client, I could ask.

I sat back in my chair and looked up at the TV and spotted HGTV. Ugh. "Do you mind changing the channel?" I asked. That's been Don's go-to TV for healing, these 2 weeks. I needed a change.

The new hygienist put on a pink paper mask and worked away, without talking. I was happy with that. I closed my eyes and felt her bad aim with the ultrasonic tool. Ouch. She kept forgetting to use the tube, that sucks the saliva. Gag.  And the polishing tool shot liquid down my shirt.  Ugh.

I felt perplexed that my dental experience had me totally on edge. It was  like I was in a dream or on Candid Camera. Why no masks? Where did my hygienist go? And where was my dentist? Suddenly I was given my goodie bag and I was ushered to the front desk.

"I'm supposed to see the dentist." I tried to explain that my dental plan included seeing the dentist each time. Then I stopped explaining. I was happy to exit without seeing another person.

My dental visit was odd. But how much was just me? I remember feeling on edge the first time I visited the dentist after my cancer diagnosis. It felt horrible to mark the Cancer box, when I updated my records. The dental office then, felt kind of like it did today. Different. It doesn't have to be your very own health changes that put you on edge. I guess I've been more uneasy from Don's recovery, than I realized.

CVS Errands

I've never liked needing help, even when I was a child. I especially don't like asking for help. But today I did even more than that. I asked a favor of someone I don't even know. In the pharmacy department. 

So many people have offered help in the last 2 weeks, since Don's surgery. But now that I can leave him home alone, I don't mind dashing to the store. Plus, I feel like he's shopping with me, since I do a lot of communicating with my phone. Even though I have lists, I always end up texting photos and questions. "Which juice looks better?" "Which cough medicine do you want?"  

New Friend, Kanell  (hope that spelling is right)

Today, I had a fun encounter with a friendly guy who works in the pharmacy. I think his name is Kanell. He spotted me, juggling an armload of goods and insisted, "You need a cart!" Then he dashed to the front of the store and returned with one. He swiped over the handle with a sanitized wipe and asked, "Can I help you with anything else?" 

I almost answered with my usual, "No, but thanks for asking."  But, suddenly a lightbulb went off in my head.  I grinned big, through my mask and spoke! "As a matter of fact..."

I told Kanell that I had a very silly favor to ask. I pointed to the greeting card aisle and explained, "Tomorrow's my anniversary and my husband just had bypass surgery. My husband feels awful that he doesn't have a card for me. He told me I should close my eyes and pick one, for him to give me. But I thought maybe you..."  

My new friend's eyebrows lifted and I could hear him laugh, behind his mask. I encouraged quickly, "Don't even look to see what's on the front, or the inside. Just reach and grab and turn it around so I can't see it!"  

Our voices were muffled and our expressions were partially hidden, but we  communicated just fine. He handed over the card with a chuckle and wished me a Happy Anniversary. I thanked him for being my assistant and then made one more request. "Would it be okay if I took your picture, so my husband will know who picked out this card?" 

Kanell humored me with a photo and I thanked him for playing along. I heard him a moment later, laughing with staff behind the pharmacy counter. I left the store in happy spirits. Family and friends have been so supportive in past weeks, but sometimes the kindness of a stranger, offers a special kind of lift!
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